Диалог в ресторане так чтобы у клиента было много претензий к официанту и к еде которую он заказывает

Waiter: Hello Sir and welcome to Kelsey's. May I take your coat? Customer: Here, hang it someplace safe, it's cashmere. Waiter: Here's our lunch menu. Do you want to hear our specials? Customer: Not really, I know your specials better than you do. Waiter: What would you like to drink? Customer: Is your ice tea sweetened or unsweetened? Waiter: We only have sweetened ice tea with lemon Sir. Customer: I will have sparkling water then. Waiter: I will give you a few minutes to look at the menu. 5 minutes later Waiter brings a bottle of Perrier and pour into a glass. Waiter: Have you decided Sir? Customer: By the way your glasses have spots on them. I will have calamari as an appetizer, and balsamic chicken. Waiter: Very sorry about the glasses. Chicken comes with a side and a salad. Customer: I will have Caesar salad and a baked potato with sour cream and chives. Don't overcook the chicken. I mean it! Or I will send it back. Waiter, bringing calamari and Caesar salad Waiter: Here you go Sir, how is everything? Customer: I changed my mind, I want French fries instead of the baked potato. Waiter: No problem Sir. 20 minutes later Waiter brings the entrée. Waiter: Here you go Sir, how is everything? Customer: calamari was chewy and salad was not so fresh. Waiter: Very sorry about that Sir, would you like me to refill your glass? Customer: About time! I thought you forgot about me. 20 minutes later Waiter comes back. Waiter: Are you almost done with your chicken Sir? Customer: Chicken was cold and dry. And too salty. French fries were soggy. Waiter picks up the plates. Waiter: I apologize Sir. Would you like to look at the dessert menu? Customer: No. Just bring me a cup of coffee and a bran muffin. Waiter comes back with coffee and muffin. Waiter: Here is your bill Sir. Will it be cash or card? Customer: Cash. Customer finishes his lunch, grabs his coat and leaves. Waiter to himself: Cheapskate  left me 5% tip. I hope he chokes on his bran muffin.